wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
it's like heaven, but drunker
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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