It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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