How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
two words...techno handjob
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
