$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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