Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
