you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My hand turned me down
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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