I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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