Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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