Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
