Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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