what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
