Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
