i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
