i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
