You're completely useless in the revolution.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
