I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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