He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
