So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you never un-have a 4some
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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