and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize