Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
