I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
