he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
tell me about the eggs
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