Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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