i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize