just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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