Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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