smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
