I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
