This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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