So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Welp...herpes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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