yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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