I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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