omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
