I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize