Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
