Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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