I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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