So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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