sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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