My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
