eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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