I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
