I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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