Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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