none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
