I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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