Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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