When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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