This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
