SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
