i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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