Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
