I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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