i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
