i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
