I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
