So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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