Whoa Z and x make the same sound
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
