When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
