omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
