The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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