She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
