After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize