My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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