haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
