hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
