K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My liver just had a heart attack.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
